Understanding the Distinction Between Narcissists and Covert Narcissists

There are various types of narcissists, with the covert narcissist being one of them. While the word 'narcissist' often evokes images of grandiosity, manipulative behavior, and a lack of empathy, covert narcissists present a more subtle but damaging form of this personality disorder. This article aims to clarify the differences between narcissists and covert narcissists, exploring their unique traits, behaviors, and the impact they have on others.

What is a Narcissist?

Narcissists are individuals who are excessively self-centered, entitled, and often show a lack of empathy toward others. They seek praise, admiration, and validation, often at the expense of others. They tend to exhibit grandiose behavior, demanding special treatment, and a lack of empathy for the feelings and needs of others.

Characteristics of a Narcissist

Grandiosity Lack of Empathy Manipulative Behavior Envy and Jealousy Displays of Arrogance

What is a Covert Narcissist?

A covert narcissist, on the other hand, is a person who displays their narcissism in more subtle and covert ways. Unlike the grandiose narcissist, the covert narcissist usually does not seek the limelight or demand frequent adoration. Instead, they present themselves to the world as ideal family members, partners, or parents, maintaining a fa?ade of normalcy while causing emotional devastation within their close relationships.

Six Key Differences Between Narcissists and Covert Narcissists

1. Public vs. Private Behavior

Narcissists are more likely to display their grandiosity and self-centeredness in public settings, where they seek attention and validation. Covert narcissists, however, keep their narcissistic traits hidden from the public eye and only reveal them within private relationships.

2. Communication Style

Narcissists often use aggressive and direct communication. In contrast, covert narcissists are more passive-aggressive in their communication. They tend to feign crises or express victimhood, often pointing out others' perceived faults or shortcomings as a way to deflect attention from themselves.

3. Manipulative Tactics

Both narcissists and covert narcissists use manipulation, but the methods differ. Narcissists might directly manipulate others into doing what they want. Covert narcissists, however, are more adept at manipulation through emotional manipulation and boundary violations, often causing significant emotional damage without others realizing.

4. Emotional Impact on Others

The emotional impact of a narcissist is often more apparent and direct. However, covert narcissists can be more insidious, causing long-term damage by slowly eroding trust and creating an environment of doubt and insecurity.

5. Ability to Hide from Society

Due to their ability to maintain a fa?ade of normalcy, covert narcissists can often operate under the radar, making it harder for others to recognize their true nature. Narcissists, while damaging, tend to be more conspicuous in their behavior.

6. Vulnerability of Victims

Victims of covert narcissists may find it more difficult to leave or confront their abuser, as they have been groomed to believe that the issues are not the fault of the covert narcissist. Victims of overt narcissists might have a clearer understanding of the manipulation and are more likely to seek help.

Signs of a Covert Narcissist

Passive-aggressive behavior Feigning crises Blaming others for their problems Hypochondriacal behavior Manipulating others to absorb the blame Creating a toxic environment

Impact of Covert Narcissism

The impact of covert narcissism can be severe, leading to emotional exhaustion, low self-esteem, and difficulty trusting others. Victims often experience a sense of incomplete sadism, feeling as though they are in a labyrinth where they cannot escape the emotional turmoil.

Dealing with Covert Narcissists

Recognizing the signs of a covert narcissist is the first step in dealing with one. It is crucial to set boundaries and seek support from trusted friends, family, or professional therapists. Learning to recognize the manipulative tactics and understanding the underlying causes of covert narcissism can help in navigating relationships and protect oneself.

Conclusion

While both narcissists and covert narcissists have harmful traits, the subtle nature of covert narcissism makes it particularly challenging to detect and address. Awareness of these differences is key to understanding and preventing the damaging effects of covert narcissism in personal and professional relationships.