The Secret World of Narcissistic Mothers: Why They Turn on Their Own Sons and Daughters

Have you ever wondered why a narcissistic mother might turn on her own son or daughter who seems to exhibit similar traits? It is a complex and often misunderstood dynamic within families. In this article, we will explore the reasons behind such behavior, debunk common misconceptions, and reveal the psychology behind this phenomenon.

Why Do Narcissistic Mothers Turn on Their Own Children?

It is important to note that in many families with both parents exhibiting high levels of narcissistic traits, the dynamics can become quite intricate. For instance, a mother may be enmeshed with one child, while the father favors the other, creating a complex triangulation of relationships. In the family described, the mother is hostile towards one child, which might be due to the child's developed traits and the mother's position.

Understanding the Dynamics

In cluster B families, which often feature disordered personalities, members tend to stick together. This tends to be especially true for a disordered mother and a disordered child. However, when a disordered child deviates from the mother's expectations, it is not uncommon for the mother to react with disapproval. Common reactions include withholding affection, getting vindictive, or becoming passive-aggressive.

These behaviors are often a form of punishment for perceived disloyalty. However, the relationship does not typically remain hostile. Instead, the mother and child will engage in a cycle of love bombing, devaluation, and manipulation. Over time, the relationship will settle back into a pattern of control and submission, allowing the mother to maintain her authority.

Narcissists and Control

Narcissists are driven by the need for control, and this is especially true when two narcissists are in a relationship. Narcissist A may try to assert dominance over Narcissist B, which can create tension and conflict. Narcissists inherently fear competition, as it threatens their supply and undermines their superiority. Therefore, when a child exhibits traits similar to a parent, the parent may see this as a threat, leading to a breakdown in the relationship.

Creating and Controlling the Hive

A narcissistic mother will not tolerate any perceived competition, even from her own child. This includes continuous efforts to chip away at the child's self-esteem and confidence. By doing so, the mother ensures that the child remains dependent on her, making them easier to manipulate. Basic life skills are often not taught, as the child is expected to remain vulnerable and dependent.

It is crucial for the child to recognize the nature of the relationship and to leave home for personal growth. Children from such households may struggle with forming healthy relationships and may develop narcissistic tendencies themselves. However, with the right support and guidance, it is possible to overcome these challenges and lead a fulfilled life.

Conclusion

The relationship between a narcissistic mother and her child is complex and often filled with tension and manipulation. Understanding the underlying psychology can provide insight into the dynamics at play. It is essential to recognize the signs of such behavior and seek support if necessary. By navigating these challenges, individuals can break free from the generational cycle of narcissism and lead a healthier, more fulfilling life.