The Art of Faking Drunkenness: Tips and Tricks

The age-old question: How do you act like you are not drunk? Fake drunkenness can be a useful skill, whether for a movie role, a party, or simply to fit in. Here are some tips and tricks to help you fake it without setting off alarms!

Understanding Real Drunken Behavior

Faking drunkenness is not about mimicking every behavior of a drunk person, but rather understanding the common traits associated with intoxication. Most drunks try to act sober, speaking more slowly, enunciating clearly, and having minor coordination issues. They often become overly concerned about small details, but their fingers are not always as agile as they wish.

How to Fake It Effectively

The key to faking drunkenness is appearance and behavior that suggest inebriation without being too obvious. Here are the steps to follow:

Act Slightly Outgoing but Rambling: Start by being slightly more outgoing than usual, but make conversations rambling and difficult to follow. This suggests that alcohol has started to affect your cognitive functions. Stare Off: As time passes and alcohol starts to kick in, stare silently at nothing in particular. This will make it seem like you're lost in thought, but because of your alcohol intake, rather than deep thoughts. Walking Struggles: Act like you are trying to walk in a straight line, but your feet are stubborn. Stumble a little bit, but not too much, to simulate the effects of alcohol on your balance. Shivering: Start shivering as your body temperature drops. This is a subtle sign of the blood vessels expanding and contracting rapidly.

Why Not to Fake It?

While faking drunkenness can be tempting, the best way to fake it is to not fake it at all. Be authentic and do what makes you happy. Life is too short for unnecessary pretenses.

Alternative Strategies

Instead of acting drunk, consider these alternative strategies:

Acting Sober: Most drunks don't stagger or throw up. They act more concerned with small details or fail at simple tasks like picking up a dropped coin due to coordination issues. Physical Challenges: Use physical challenges to suggest the effects of alcohol. For example, stumble into things while walking or act like you are throwing up after having a mouth full of red soda and crackers. Vision Issues: Use vision issues as a challenge. Try to see things as your eyes struggle with persistence of vision. Turn your head and wait for your vision to stabilize. Look past or skew-whiff when facing someone to whom you’re talking.

Remember, the key is to create a balance between appearing slightly off but still noticeable. Good luck with your charade!