Resigning From Child Support: A Parent's Dilemma

The decision to ldquo;sign offrdquo; on child support payments from a drug-addicted and abusive father was a tough one. This article delves into the complexities and considerations behind such a decision, exploring the parental and social responsibilities involved.

Introduction

The title of this piece poses a critical question: Would you sign a paper to prevent a drug-abusing ex-partner from paying child support, rather than risking the health and safety of your child? This is a personal blog stemming from such a decision, telling the story of a woman who made this tough call decades ago, with consequences that shaped her daughter's life journey.

A Personal Story

I made the difficult decision during my early days in the 1980s to forgo the $25 per week or month that my child’s biological father was supposed to provide in child support. This decision was born out of a deep concern for the emotional and physical abuse my child would have endured if the ex-partner had continued to see her.

My rationale was straightforward: money was not worth risking my child's health and safety. Instead, I trusted her grandmothers to supervise the infrequent times this father would be in her presence. I believed it was better to keep her in my care and ensure her welfare. When she reached adulthood, my daughter developed her own opinion of her bio-father, influenced by the way I treated him and the limited interactions she had with him. He eventually recognized his mistakes and became a better grandfather than a father.

Historical Perspective and Current View

Looking back, I wonder if I would make the same decision today, given my current understanding of the world and my daughter's needs. My thinking then was that the financial support was not worth the potential risks and abuse. However, with today’s societal expectations, the emphasis on the child's rights to financial support from both parents becomes more pronounced.

Fathers have a responsibility to financially support their children who they contribute to. However, society often overlooks the responsibilities of abusive or negligent parents. Instead, others, including grandparents, families, and the government, pick up the slack. This article argues that the child's rights come before the parents' rights.

Emphasizing the Child's Rights

The financial responsibility for a child is a shared responsibility between both parents. If my daughter's pseudo-father had signed off on his financial responsibility, it would have been to protect her from the financial and emotional exploitation. The courts understand that the child's welfare is paramount. Today, if a parent wants to avoid financial responsibility, they need to prove an adoptive parent is willing to take over this responsibility. The courts prioritize the child's need to have both parents, even if they contribute financially.

Conclusion

As a parent, the financial support from both parents is crucial. In retrospect, I would not have signed away the biological father's financial responsibility. It is not only a child's right but also the shared responsibility of both parents. Use legal systems and resources to protect the child's best interest, even if it involves collecting inconsistent or minimal amounts. Store these funds for the child's future, ensuring they make the most of their rights and potential.

Wishing you the best on your journey as a parent navigating these complex issues.