Exploring Therapeutic Attachment: How to Bring Up Your Feelings

Therapy can be a deeply personal experience, and sometimes these experiences can lead to feelings that go beyond the therapeutic relationship. It's common to feel like you have a strong attachment to your therapist, but it can be challenging to express these feelings. This article will explore how to bring up these emotions with your therapist, and why it's important to address them.

Personal Experiences and Lessons Learned

Some individuals have found it difficult to articulate these feelings, leading them to write down their thoughts or leave them unspoken. In some cases, the therapist may be understanding and acknowledge the normalcy of these feelings. This was the experience of one individual who wrote their feelings in a note and handed it to the therapist. The therapist responded positively, explaining that such feelings are common and even considered positive. However, not all therapists may respond in the same way, as demonstrated by a previous therapist who was CBT-oriented and reacted negatively and ended the therapy relationship abruptly.

Importance of Expressing Feelings

Expressing these feelings is crucial for your mental health and therapy progress. Keeping them inside can create shame and confusion. It's important to put your feelings in writing or communicate them to your therapist. Doing so can help you and your therapist understand and work through these emotions together.

Strategies for Bringing Up Your Feelings

1. Embrace the Discussion

Approach the discussion with an open mind. Remember that many therapists have dealt with clients experiencing similar feelings. Your therapist is likely well-equipped to handle the conversation and provide support.

2. Consider the Consequences of Silence

Reflect on why you might be hesitant to bring up these feelings. Could it be fear of judgment, stigma, or previous negative experiences? Understanding your fears can help you address them more effectively. Often, the fear is more debilitating than the actual issue itself.

3. Seek a Competent Therapist

Choosing a therapist who can handle these emotions is crucial. A competent therapist will not dismiss your feelings or make you feel ashamed. Instead, they will help you understand and work through these emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

Find a therapist who:

Accepts these feelings as normal in the therapeutic context Helps you understand the nature and significance of these emotions Does not shame or embarrass you about these feelings

If your current therapist is dismissive of these feelings or tends to avoid them, it might be time to consider finding a new therapist who can provide the support you need.

Conclusion

Bringing up therapeutic attachment is a crucial step in your journey towards healing and self-awareness. It's not a weakness but a strength to acknowledge and explore these feelings. Remember that many therapists are trained to handle these emotions, and by sharing them, you can make significant progress in your therapy.

Take the first step. Write down your feelings, and then bring them to your therapist. It's worth the risk for the sake of your mental health.