Do Therapists Cry During Sessions? Norms and Expectations in Psychotherapy

Is it a sign of a deeper issue or simply a moment of empathy?

Introduction

In the practice of psychotherapy, the role of a therapist is not merely to provide advice or solutions but to create a safe and empathetic space for clients to share their deepest emotions. The question of whether therapists cry during sessions is often a topic of curiosity and concern. Some believe it may indicate psychological issues, while others view it as a natural and healthy part of the therapeutic process.

The Frequency and Context of Crying

According to personal observations and professional experiences, it is not a common occurrence for therapists to cry during sessions. For example, I have worked with my current therapist for over seven years and have only seen her shed a tear a handful of times. These tears were often sparked by particularly emotional moments where a deep connection was formed. One tear was due to her reading something I had written and expressing genuine sympathy. Another was during a sharing from her personal experience after the loss of her father.

Dependence on Client and Situation

The occurrence of a therapist crying is highly dependent on the client and the situation. For instance, if a client has experienced a profound loss, such as the death of a child or a beloved pet, a therapist may exhibit a healthy empathetic response. However, it is crucial to consider the type of therapist and their professional role. For example, an art therapist might show more emotion compared to a medical doctor or psychiatrist.

The Role of Empathy and Professionalism

Therapists are trained to maintain a strong, calm presence to support their clients. However, crying during a session can sometimes be seen as a sign that the therapist may be shutting the client down, or the client might perceive the therapist's reaction as an inability to handle their issues. This can be detrimental to the therapeutic relationship.

Conclusion

While it might seem concerning, a therapist's tears in a session often indicate a deep connection and emotional investment in the client's well-being. These moments can validate the client's experience and deepen the therapeutic bond. It is important for clients to discuss their feelings with their therapist and seek a new one if they feel uncomfortable or unsupported. The presence of emotions in therapists is a reflection of their humanity and can foster a more authentic and meaningful therapeutic relationship.